Jules Dean arrived this summer and her parents, Josh and Ashley, have been sleep deprived by and thrilled with their new baby girl! I've enjoyed watching her grow and am really excited to share this session in particular as it's my first Ocala family/newborn sesh. Ashley is a photographer over at Hear + See and Josh is a school teacher. I've asked them a few questions about love and life and what it's like to be parents.
How did you meet?
Ashley: We met in college. A friend of mine was in a class with Josh and we met through him. We soon found out we were both a part of the same Christian student organization. We continued to hang out through that and the rest was history.
Josh: We met in college and were part of a group of friends that just spent a lot of time together for a whole semester. Around Christmas break, she realized how irresistible I was.
What was the moment you realized you were in love?
Ashley: For me, I'm not sure. It was kind of a gradual thing. I do remember trying to break up with him and I gave this whole half-hearted speech. When I was done, Josh asked, "Did you just try to break up with me?" I busted out laughing. I knew because I couldn't go through with it that I must be in love with him.
Josh: Only a month or so after we started dating. I was getting ready to leave town for a week to help lead a youth retreat. I didn’t want to spend that time away from her, she didn’t want to spend that time away from me. That’s when I knew.
What qualities does your mate possess that are important to you/that you admire?
Ashley: Two stick out to me. The first is his authenticity. With Josh, what you see is what you get. He's the most genuine person I know because he is the same person with everyone. People tend to change for different groups of people, but not him. He's always the same. The second he may disagree with me, but I would say perseverance. I'm the kind of person that wants to give up when times get tough. We have been though a lot of heartache and Josh just keeps pushing through. He's rock solid and unwavering in his drive to continue pursuing God's will.
Josh: Ashley and I both have strong personalities. I like that she is very assertive and I don’t have to worry if I am too overbearing or steamrolling her. She will let me know. She is also a very passionate and caring person.
What do you define as a family?
Ashley: This is going to sound so cliche, but love. Our church is our family. Our friends in Slovenia are our family. Before Jules was even created, she was family. Our future children (biological and adopted) are our family. We are not meant to be alone. We are created for community and love is what creates that community.
Josh: A community of people who serve one another in grace and love.
How did you know you were ready to enter into parenthood?
Ashley: Josh and I had a "five year plan." No children for the first five years of our marriage. It worked well for us. Then that five years came and went. We had a lot of things going on in our life (planting a church, going on mission trips to Slovenia, planning to become long term missionaries) and we weren't ready. When all of those things ended, we knew we were ready.
Josh: I still might not be.
How has parenting changed your relationship with your partner?
Ashley: It's hard to describe, but we are a lot closer. I'm currently out of town and we miss each other so much more than all the other times we have been apart from each other.
Josh: I just love to see Ashley being a mom. It brings out my favorite parts of her personality. It’s beautiful.
What has been your greatest reward as a parent?
Ashley: Just the immense joy I get from her. A friend of mine used a perfect description of what you feel when you have a baby: she said, "the magic is palpable." Yes, indeed.
Josh: Watching Jules smile… and having an excuse to be behind on things at work.
What has been your most challenging responsibility as a parent?
Ashley: I guess I would say breastfeeding. Jules still doesn't take a bottle, so I have to plan my day around when I will be breastfeeding her. Having to stop what I'm doing every 2.5-3 hours to feed her can be hard because I feel like I'm not able to get much done.
Josh: I am always trying to learn to put others before myself, especially at home. Now I feel hyperaware of the need to put Ashley and Jules first. Like a constant weight of responsibility. It isn’t a burdensome weight. It is just a sense of love that is present.
What do you enjoy most as a parent?
Ashley: Oh, gosh. Everything about it. It's literally the best. Ever.
Josh: Thinking about the future adventures we will go on together.
What is the hardest part of being a parent?
Ashley: At this early stage in the game, not much is too difficult. The "baby blues" hit me hard those first few weeks. I didn't expect that. I cried a lot and felt the mom guilt over everything. Now that that's over, it's a breeze. I realize that won't last forever so I'm enjoying this stage as much as I can.
Josh: Not getting to sleep as much as I want. Not being able to be as active as we would like.
How have you changed since you had a child?
Ashley: I realize that I don't care what people think about me anymore. Before I almost couldn't even go out in public without makeup and dressing the way I like. Now I can't even count how many times I've walked out of the house looking like a bum and not even giving it a thought.
Josh: I feel younger actually, like I am just starting out.
If you could change one thing about the world today that would make it better for your child what would it be?
Ashley: Vulnerability and empathy. We need so much more of that in the world. Us humans love to build up walls to protect ourselves, but in the process we loose the ability to understand and care for each other. Being broken and bare before others is always the first and most terrifying step towards healing and reconciliation.
Josh: I would like people to CARE about things outside of themselves. I hope Jules grows up to be a person full of compassion that changes those around her.
What is your favorite holiday to celebrate as a family?
Ashley: Chistmas. Without a doubt. One of my favorite traditions my family does is have a bonfire and eat seafood on Christmas Eve.
Josh: Christmas. I only allow real trees. Everyone has to decorate together with music playing. No one is allowed to know what their present is. I just love it.
What is the best memory that you have about your child?
Ashley: All the times she laughs and smiles and coos. She's such an awesome baby.
Josh: Ashley and I start every road trip by playing “On the Road Again” by Willie Nelson. On the way home from the hospital, I played this song. It was a very special moment. Ashley cried. Like, a lot.
The DEASES
